Advisor I Mentor

Sparring partner

Piotr

Kania

"People don't leave companies; they leave their managers." This statement, though often quoted, remains relevant. In my work with managers, I frequently hear that the biggest challenge isn't the tasks but rather how to create an environment where employees feel motivated, valued, and fulfilled in their work. Unfortunately, not every manager can achieve this. Many get lost in the daily pressure of results, forgetting that the key to success lies in relationships and effective communication, which is fundamentally based on feedback.

 

But does anyone among us want to be the manager that employees want to leave? Of course not. Each of us dreams of being the ideal leader—respected, admired, and a role model for our team. The question is: what are we doing to become that? How open are we to feedback? Can we really listen, acknowledge where we fall short, and use feedback to develop our skills?

 

Training for Managers—What Went Wrong?

 

During a training session I led for one of the leaders in the construction industry, I spoke with a group of managers about the feedback culture in their company. When I asked about their feedback culture, they replied succinctly: "It doesn't exist." Management emphasizes results, and performance reviews focus solely on numbers and goal achievement. The form, style, or even the manner of communication among employees? "Those are secondary issues," I was told. One manager admitted that his team often doesn't understand why certain decisions are made. "No one asks questions because there's no space for it," he added.

 

This is an example that illustrates how often feedback is marginalized. It might seem that everything has already been said about its essence. Its role in the development of an organization and an employee should be widely understood. Yet, nothing could be further from the truth.

 

Feedback—A Tool for Development, Not Just Evaluation

 

Feedback is often seen as an evaluation tool—something that needs to be "checked off" during the official annual conversation with an employee. This is a huge simplification and misunderstanding. The true value of feedback lies in the fact that it is part of the daily development process, both individual and team-based, and it’s not just about assessing work performance. Feedback is a tool that allows employees to understand what they are doing well, what can be improved, and most importantly, how they can grow.

 

A good comparison is a long-distance runner, a marathoner. They need ongoing feedback to know when to speed up, slow down, or adjust their pace. If they only receive feedback after finishing the race, they have no chance to correct their pace during the run—and they may finish far below their potential.

 

However, the context and intention of feedback are crucial. It should be positive and aimed at supporting the employee's development, rather than just pointing out mistakes. A good manager provides feedback to help the employee continue doing good work or to correct mistakes that can turn into successes.

 

Location and Timing Matter

 

Feedback must be well-considered not only in terms of content but also location and timing. Delivering feedback requires the right circumstances—for both you and the recipient. An example? Giving negative feedback in a group setting is the worst possible scenario. We all know situations where a supervisor publicly criticized a team member. What happens then? Instead of building something constructive, we destroy morale and the employee's sense of security. Negative feedback should be delivered privately, in a calm, comfortable atmosphere.

 

On the other hand, positive feedback—the kind that builds—is most effective when expressed publicly. Praising an employee in front of the team gives them a sense that their efforts are recognized, and they become a role model for others.

 

In one of the companies I worked with, the manager began each meeting by praising an employee who had done exceptional work in the previous week. This small gesture positively affected team morale more than the most sophisticated motivational systems. Employees felt noticed and valued, and the team as a whole became more engaged. In this case, such a practice seems to be common and appreciated by managers. And once again, disappointment. Unfortunately, this is not the standard.

 

Intention is Key

 

The intention behind feedback is a key element in this process that is often underestimated and misunderstood. For feedback to be effective, it must stem from a positive intention—a desire to support, improve, and build. A negative intention, expressed in a spiteful manner, can undermine the confidence of even the best employee. When giving feedback, always keep the recipient's well-being in mind—you want them to grow, not to feel "downcast." After all, both the manager and the employee should care about success equally. Overcoming a challenging situation, resolving conflict, or meeting a given challenge will positively impact the employee's self-confidence, engagement, and performance, as well as strengthen the entire team and its leader.

 

It’s important to emphasize the difference between feedback and criticism. Criticism is often destructive and can be demoralizing. Feedback—if thoughtful and delivered with good intentions—aims to strengthen the employee, guiding them toward improvement and further development. As one manager told me: "Every time I give feedback, I ask myself whether I’m doing it to help that person develop or just to express my dissatisfaction. If it’s the latter, sometimes I really bite my tongue."

 

Embrace Silence

 

Silence during feedback discussions can be uncomfortable—for both the manager and the employee. The natural instinct is to break the silence and fill it with words, but sometimes silence can work wonders. Giving the employee a moment to think allows them to reflect on what they've heard and perhaps even open up to a deeper conversation.

 

When working with managers, I often emphasize how important it is to endure this silence. When you leave space for reflection, it may turn out that after a few seconds, you hear something you never expected. "I always interrupted the silence because I thought people just had nothing to say," one leader once admitted to me. "But when I decided to wait once, I heard truly valuable things I wouldn’t have normally found out."

 

Proportionality of Feedback—One Does Not Live by Criticism Alone

 

Feedback should not be limited to pointing out mistakes. Moreover, it should be appropriately balanced. If you provide your team with only negative feedback, even the smallest mistake can become a significant issue in their eyes. Employees start to feel that no matter what they do, something is always wrong.

 

On the other hand, if you never provide constructive criticism and only praise, employees may feel they are not developing because they don't know what they can improve. This is where proportionality is crucial—negative remarks should be balanced with positive ones, and every praise must be sincere and appropriate.

 

One of the comments I once heard: "I have no problem saying what went wrong, but I admit that I rarely praise. It seems to me that it should just go without saying if everything is going according to plan." This is a big mistake. Appreciating employees must be clear and specific, not just implied between the lines. If something is going well, it should be said. Consider this: when was the last time you took a moment to give a sincere compliment instead of tossing it in as an afterthought to a performance review?

 

One tool that helps maintain balance is the 3:1 rule—three positive comments for one constructive criticism. This doesn’t mean you have to desperately seek praises, but it makes you more consciously notice the good things happening around you.

 

Many of us say that feedback is essential, but do we really give employees the space to express their opinions? Or do conversations with the team boil down to performance evaluations, goal achievements, and the standard closing question: "Is everything okay?" The response is often just silence or a polite "yes, it's good." Is it really?

 

After one training session for a large pharmaceutical company, we discussed the feedback culture. One of the managers admitted: "I always ask if anyone has comments, but most often I hear that it's okay. Then I later find out that there was dissatisfaction and frustration..." Where lies the problem? Often in not providing the space for honest conversation—either we rush to close the topic too quickly or we don’t create the conditions that make employees feel safe.

 

Feedback is a Dialogue, Not a Discussion

 

Receiving feedback is one of the toughest challenges we face as managers. Our natural instinct? To defend ourselves. We start to explain, justifying why we acted the way we did, trying to immediately defend our actions. But feedback is not an invitation to debate; it’s an opportunity for reflection and learning. Instead of treating it as an attack on your person, it’s worth approaching it with openness, assuming the good intentions of the person delivering it.

 

The first and foremost rule is: we do not argue with feedback. Instead of reacting impulsively, thank the person for their feedback and take time to think about it. Sometimes negative feedback can be hard to accept, but it’s incredibly valuable if we can process it properly. Reflect on what exactly was conveyed to you and how you can improve it. You don't have to act immediately. Feedback is a process that requires reflection.

 

Feedback is valuable if we know how to use it

 

Feedback holds immense value—if we know how to use it. In every piece of feedback, even the difficult to digest, lies an opportunity for growth. A manager who is open to feedback gains a greater awareness of their actions, and consequently, can manage their team better and avoid repeating mistakes.

 

Often, the problem managers face is a lack of regular feedback from the team. People don’t share their insights because they don’t feel safe or believe their opinion will change anything. This, in turn, stems from our own approach to feedback—if every time we receive it, we defend ourselves and try to undermine the comments, we make employees reluctant to return to us with further insights.

 

To turn this trend around, we must show that we take feedback seriously. When you receive feedback, not only thank the person but also think about how you can implement the suggested changes. If the person who gave you feedback sees that you’ve taken concrete actions, they’ll be more likely to provide feedback again. This is key to building a culture of open communication.

 

Seek Advice from Trusted Individuals

 

Not every piece of feedback we receive is immediately valid. Therefore, it's worth having a group of trusted people around you who can help assess whether the given comments make sense. If you hear something that seems unfair, ask others—perhaps it turns out that it’s just an individual’s opinion, or conversely, you might hear from several people that there is some truth to it.

 

A manager I worked with shared a simple yet effective approach: "Whenever I receive difficult feedback, I ask my closest colleagues what they think. Sometimes I find out that others see the same thing—and then I know I need to change something."

 

The Problem of Lack of Feedback—How to Solve It?

 

A lack of feedback is a problem many managers struggle with. It stems from our culture and the lack of skills in both giving and receiving feedback. People are afraid to express their observations because they don’t want to offend their superior or feel that their voice will be ignored. But the solution to this problem is in our hands.

 

If we want to receive more feedback, we must first learn to accept it. With every conversation where we show that we take feedback seriously, with every action we take in response to it, we create a foundation for our employees to feel more comfortable providing us with feedback. And the more feedback we receive, the more valuable it becomes—as it gives us a fuller picture of our actions and their impact on the team.

 

Let’s remember that feedback is a dialogue, not a one-time event. It is an ongoing process that allows us to become better leaders if we are ready to take advantage of it. The more open we are to listening, the more often we will receive information that helps us improve in both our daily activities and in building long-term relationships with our team.

 

Build a Team That Wants to Stay

 

Returning to where we started: employees don’t leave companies—they leave managers. By creating a feedback culture where feedback is regular, honest, and stems from positive intent, you build a team that wants to work with you, not escape from you. When you listen to your employees' needs and provide them with adequate, proportional feedback, you develop them, and they develop your company.

 

As a result, you have a team that not only achieves results but is engaged, loyal, and satisfied with their work. Such a team wants to stay with you and build their career. Because in the end, that’s what we all want, right?

 

 

We invite you to inspiring training sessions on effective feedback organized by Profboost, which will open new opportunities for you, guaranteeing success for both parties and supporting growth in your team!